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Monday, January 19th, 2009
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Hey everybody, sorry I've been goneso long from LJ, but my Interweb was having problems being convinced I was me and not that other guy. Not much happinen' here really other than the lowering of my pill dosage (but I think I already posted that). The funny thing about the lower dosage is that now I'm awaken every few hours from my sleep by horrible nightmares, but I can't be sure that this wasn't happening the entire time I was on the pills because on the higher dosages I'd rarely remember my dreams, but still wake up quite a bit in the night (or whenever I went into sleep mode). Basically Morpheus has a mad-on for my ass, and I better figure out a way around it before I start looking like those Ring peoples
In not horrible news, I increased the display size of my online comics. This year I'm really going to try and make huge steps to increasing viewership on my site, so if any of ya have any ideas give me a holla!
And now the news
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wHMaJ6AtNs&feature=channel_page
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Monday, December 15th, 2008
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Friday, December 5th, 2008
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 Dear Santa...
Dear Santa,
This year I've been busy!
In April I gave ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) stuntdan a Dutch Oven (-10 points). In March I set jpfed's puppy on fire (-66 points). In November I invaded Iraq, broke it, and couldn't glue it back together before Mom got home (-1012 points). In August I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points). In January I punched wenamun in the arm (-10 points).
Overall, I've been naughty (-1106 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking!
Sincerely,
cooli_stylite |
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Monday, December 1st, 2008
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Well, the Thanksgiving trip to my dad's house is complete... Dear god I lived through it, somehow, and in the end I'm left wondering why?
On to the real point of this week's rant. I finished reading (listening) to the audiobook version of "Oryx and Crake," a great little science fiction novel which came out a few years ago from the same author of "The Handmaiden's tale." I think the book has real Sci-fi classics potential, but like a fool I went to the internet to try and get people's take on it (you know, see if people saw it from a unique angle that maybe would shed more light on certain themes in the book), big mistake. Many of the reviews I read (and these were professional reviews, not "dramatic-pause, youtube screamy guy" reviews, seemed to have A) decided what the themes being explored were more on what they felt this type of story should be about, even if they could only be made to apply in the most shoe-horned way of looking at the material (Ex: alot of claims of Adam and Eve symbolism that wasn't there and that I feel was only being proposed because it was one of the few cultural symbols that come close to the themes being explored) then B) would complain that those themes weren't used very well, hence the book was poor!
Now this wouldn't have bugged me so much, I mean everyone's allowed a lousy opinion every so often, but I think having watched "Enchanted" the night before reading the reviews really struck me on a line of thought. The movie itself wasn't bad (A bit of family fun with a couple of laughs but ultimately no bite or deep thought), yet it's one in a line of "Aren't fairy tales simple and stupid, and aren't we all smarter that their cliche's" style movies (Happily n'ever after, Hoodwinked, etc...(I don't include "Shrek" in these because it did kind of do some, if not new things, at least some clever things with the material)). These movies actually kinda piss me off, I mean first off they don't even really know their source materials they're parodying, and instead grab the most basic, thread bare trends in that type of story telling, claim it's the extent of that type of story telling, and then ridicule how simple and trite those stories are. Besides feeling like kind of a kangaroo court trial, it seems to convey an element of cultural malaise. The idea that, at least as an audience, we are retreating from the new into simpler worlds we convince ourselves are the extent of human lit that we can feel comfortable heaping contempt upon and feeling superior too without being challenged or moved in any way. It really seems to push the entire "All ideas have been done, so why bother" approach to writing (or not-writing in some cases), and it drives me nuts
Maybe I'm making too big a deal out of this, It just seems like if it is the case, it's a problem that likely extends beyond what we'll watch on TV.
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Friday, November 14th, 2008
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Reading Jerry's post on cyclic processes gave me a crazy idea that is made a bit funny when one examines how removed yet in the spirit of this idea the two concepts seem to be. We all know and love the game "Six degrees of Kevin Bacon," but could the idea of making players draw a six or less step chain connecting two seemingly unrelated objects, ideas, or concepts together hold promise? Trying to get players to draw a conclusion chain between Tangerines and Dark matter or Fascism and Windows Vista (actually that one may be too easy)could be a way to foster strange avenues of associative creativity to grow... or make the players go mad over time, either or's fine with me.
Also, I've been working on a Photoshop image that's been a little vexing. Any comments or suggestions?
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Monday, November 3rd, 2008
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It's crazy, but up until recently I thought it was my somewhat eclectic interests that were keeping me from finding a girl friend, but recently several of my friends have met girls in crazy places who have the same wild interests as them. This new revelation that it's not necessarily slated in stone that I either have to become a Football watch'en, bar troll or die alone in a bathtub writing angry letters against Charlotte Corday (ain't nobody gonna get THAT reference)is both a relief and kind of troubling.
The real issue with all of this is that I've never been especially good at meeting people with my own interests. Sure I met you guys, but I basically only had to meet one of you cold, and I had the others either introduced to me through the chain of association or they were forced to live with me for a year or two by the college system, and I don't think that second ones going to happen again. I've tried to get into online communities to meet people that way, but I either run into tight knit clicks or I make a bad mistake when I'm trying to be helpful (like by giving really bad advice to somebody who then either quit the message board or was killed by that hurricane (wish I was kidding about this one)). There's also the problem that I may not really WANT to meet new people, I mean I am kind on an isolationist troll when it comes right down to it, whether it's from social anxiety or downright disdain of the human animal. I also don't really know how to even represent myself, especially without using the word "miserable" at least twice.
Any advice on this, I am abit perplexed.
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Thursday, October 23rd, 2008
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Sorry about the sparceness of the postings lately, but I've been spending just about every free minute helping Jim and Dan with their movie.
I'll return to more regular postings after shooting wraps up in a few weeks.
PS: If the next few entries have weird Date signatures, It's because my computers clock is set weird to keep my Virus protection software from killing my computer (long, dumb story).
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Monday, October 20th, 2008
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I've been instructed by my therapist (just before she took a huge ass vacation) to ponder the nature of the spiritual, and what it is I believe in. So I've been kickin' it around in my toilet bowl mind and I find, as in so much of my life, my spiritual ideals are a house divided upon itself (and doing a lot of sitting around at that). The Artsy, romantic side of me can see a sort of joy in the universe's workings and perhaps even purpose or mastermind, while the more literal (IE: not full of bullshit) side sees Spiritualism as a stop gag utilized by people who haven't fulfilled their internal hungers through the constructs of social positioning and acquisition of resources.
Before I continue, I feel I must clarify that I'm not talking organized religion or any specific form of religious doctrine exclusively when I say Spiritualism. Anything from the faiths of the book, to Buddhist doctrine, through to even simple reflection can count for the purposes of this machination session.
The more I ponder the idea of Spiritualism, the more it slips from my grasp like Gossamer strands of the Either. I find that I can't even define the Spiritual anymore (and Merriam-Webster is doing nothing to rectify this! Damn Swarthy Welshmen!). Ultimately it comes down to what I want to believe, What I won't allow myself to believe because of certain factors, and what seems increasingly undeniable, bleak, and meaningless.
I guess the question I tender to you guys and gals (oh, who am I kidding... guys) is what is spirituality to you?
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I drove up to visit my father this week-end... resulting in the fact that I can now no longer experience joy.
On the drive back I hit 3 hours of sweltering gridlock due to all the flooding. It was really strange in the fact that it started taking on a Refugee/end of the world vibe after the first hour of not moving. People were actually abandoning their vehicles and just wandering off in random directions. Also huge ass SUV's were driving across the medium and jumping into the opposite lane of traffic. There were a smattering of local Sheriffs around, but they weren't saying anything and seemed to be merely adding to the strange road warrior vibe. Ultimately with the back up , it took me 8 hours to drive home.
On a happier note though, The guy I was training at work thought I was 18 years old. That's quite a boast to a guy who spent the week-end being constantly reminded that he hasn't accomplished anything worthwhile for his age and being pressured to randomly marry someone.
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Why is it that the ancient Chinese believed the road to highlander-land was paved with spinning back kicks? I mean I guess I can see how one could believe you're immortal if you appear to be able to fly, or to deflect sword blows with your tummy, but it still seems a little far fetched to me. Now you you WERE immortal, then I could definitely see wanting to know kung-fu, because let's face it, you go bragging to people that you're never gonna get old and they're gonna wanna stomp your ass on principle if nothing else.
I guess the kung-fu / immortality theory is no more ridiculous than the belief that immortality comes from sleeping with teen-age girls. Could you imagine a world where the key to eternal life was an El Camino and an Usher CD? *Shutter*
In other, somewhat more relevant, somewhat kinda news, I was listening to an NPR show where they were claiming that satisfaction and overall happiness in ones life comes from ones feelings of Stability, Purpose, and Success. Also, apparently people who are deeply religious and extremist in their beliefs are on average much happier in life... kinda makes you wanna learn kung-fu, hu?
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Wednesday, June 4th, 2008
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I've been watching some of the old episodes of "I Dream of Jeannie" lately. Ever since I learned that the show had been a direct inspiration in the creation of Urusei Yatsura I've had something of a soft spot for it. Now I realize there's quite a bit of sexual innuendo built into the show just by design, but I was kinda surprised just how... amorous Jeannie was, good lord!
That being said, the show's still really dumb, but I guess we all have our guilty pleasures.
Speaking of Dumb shows that are awesome, If you haven't seen Garth Merengie's Darkplace, you MUST!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNfQ0ORwSDM
In real news I had a really skitey week-end, full of lost keys, An idiotic fight with my boss that almost made me quit, lots of overtime, a locksmith bill, and topped off with a near panic attack. Out of all that garbage though, I think I may have discovered something about my depression. I pereotically have really bad bouts, and while this week-end I was really run down from everything, I didn't have certain components of the depression that make it REALLY bad. I think there may be a cyclical quality to it, as for the last couple of months the depression drop hit especially hard at 4 to 5 weeks apart. If this proves to be a repeat trend, then it points the way to much more of my depression being chemically based than I once thought, which may or may not be a good thing, but it at least gives me an idea how to attack it.
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I was driving home from work this morning when I heard what may be the dumbest thing I've heard in at least a month (and it's been an incredibly dumb month). There was an NPR program on getting Population growth under control. One of the callers pointed to the fact that human populations exploded as a result of the Agricultural Revolution. As a result of this fact he proposed that A) the agricultural revolution was a mistake, and B) the only way to effectively lower human population growth to an acceptable level is to abandon all AR practices.
They Might Be Giants were right, people should get beat up for stating their beliefs. I've finally come to terms with the fact that there are people out there who think that technology is evil, but the practice of growing food?! Next they'll be bitching about that entire "Evolving an oposable thumb" thing.
In other news I couldn't make this shit up if I tried
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080519/ap_on_fe_st/japan_hello_kitty
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This week-end was a huge downer, that turned into a pretty good time, that kinda went crapoid again at the end.
It was the Week-end of the yearly Chicago Anime con. I arrived at the convention center at 2:00, only to discover that the lines to get in were literally out the door. Apperantely the computer system the con was using to register people was down, and kept on crashing every 10 min of use (resulting in another 15 min without line movement) I waited in line for 4 hours when I discovered that the average wait to get into the con was 8 hours. I was already pretty down on doing the con thing this year (the average con goer was, for the last few years, growing younger, ruder, and larger in number; the end result was a con quickly resembling junior prom and me feeling over the hill in my own domain), but this, combined with the fact that the schedule stunk, and the realization that the only other reason I was going was to pay a ton of money to get into a large shop, pushed me over the edge.
So I ditched that con and hung out with one of the friends I was going to meet down there all week-end. We watched a crap load of anime and generally had a good time. We also discovered that pretty much every anime series is on YouTube, as well as all of "Wizard People, Dear Readers" synced to the HP movie.
On my drive home I was called and told my old cat died. That sucked. I know it wasn't really my cat anymore (he'd lived with my aunt for almost a decade on account that even though I love cats, my skin and vital bits do not), but he was still my pal, and a living connection to the time when my mom was still alive.
On a side note, I found many a splendor thing online this week-end...
The Wikipedia for Invader Zim has a complete list of the Uncompleted Zim episodes http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unfinished_Invader_Zim_episodes#Unfinished_episodes
For those of you who have not yet ated at the gilded bucket of "Wizard People, Dear Reader"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u981JhkK46o
Something for everyone that misses the blunt psychic trauma of "Ren and Stimpy"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43GJobZTcj8
And finally, how to re-grow fingers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tijEl8I38mo
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This slipped my mind (hope it doesn't this week-end). I'll be doing the Oconocon on Sunday. It's a one day comic con in Oconomawac from 10 to 6. It's officially the beginning of my short, but none the less intensive con season, and essentially my warm up for the big game, WIZARDWORLD!!! (I'm not doing ACEN because I don't really have any Anime works finished yet, other than M+F3... WHICH JUST CAME OUT THIS WEEK-END! WOOT!
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Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008
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Remember when you were a teen-ager and the world seemed like a place that was miserable because of some conspiracy? Later on, when you became older and wiser, you came to realize that there wasn't any real conspiracy, just A stupefying level of incompetence with the gaps there in filled by cancerous cruelty and short-sighted selfishness? Remember how that actually felt worse?
No? Oh...um...well fine then...
To make a long story short, the evil got in my hand and my hand went bad. I just can't shake the feeling lately that not only is the sum total of everything a pointless, winding down, drone towards a boring train wreak (by far the worse kind of train wreck), but that I'm a part of that horrible, hateful degeneration that cannot hope to achieve anything but further destroying and perverting the degenerating state of things.
I've just become so bitter and mean and tired, it really is just a lot of Entropy out there (People die, Knowledge is forgotten, box office returns dwindle, Countries fall, Spieces lines extinguish, suns burn out, and eventually all matter simply crumbles away to nothing (thank you very much, Steven Hawkins!)).
I'm just sick of feeling so suspicious towards just about everyone (most of whom I'm fairly confident don't deserve it). I don't trust much of anything anymore, It all can be pulled away from you so quickly and for no reason at all, and then all you're left with is a broken lump of something that still demands your attentions and energy but gives nothing back but bitter pain and failure. It makes you so you don't even want to try
In a completely unrelated topic, check out the South Park episode "Britney's New Look" on Comedy Central's website... Re-worked, it could make one hell of a horror movie!
Sorry about all the Bitchin'. I promise next week I'll put something up here that's at least a little more upbeat, maybe something about puppies (Spoiler: there will be no puppies!)
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Tuesday, April 15th, 2008
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Bad...just bad
The data recovery people could not recover anything from my drive. They basically told me the same thing I told them when I dropped the drive off.
The good news (kind of) is that this isn't the end of the road. There's a nation wide recovery service that actually takes the drive apart and uses their own reader to grab the info.
The bad news is is that it's take about two weeks to know if they can get ANYTHING, and that it'll run me somewhere around $500 to $2000, but if they can't recover anything it'll only cost $300 (See, the sun even shines in Hell).
I have some stuff backed up, but with my money problems and my attempts not to dip into my emergency savings, plus problems with my home computer and an almost demonicly bad luck when it comes to trying to save the work to CD, The last two years worth of work (at least) is on that damn thing. It really is THE ONLY THING I have to show for these last few years of my life.
If I don't recover those files, I really don't know what I'll do.
...
In lighter news I saw Creepshow again... so, um, go Creepshow...
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chipper.
blank.
dirty.